Before You’re 30
“Old habits die hard. If you don’t kick them, they kick you.”
In 4 months, I am turning 30, and I know for many hitting a certain age can be nerve-wracking and can make people FREAK OUT. For me, I find excitement in seeing what more life has to offer me. My 20s, like with most people, were about figuring my shit out; learning who I am, what I stand for, what my purpose is. It was a crazy roller coaster of making a shit ton of mistakes and growing from them. While I know I don’t have EVERYTHING figured out, and there won’t be anyone who will, the older we get the wiser we become. We learn what works and what habits lead us to trouble.
“Old habits die hard. If you don’t kick them, they kick you.”
The beautiful thing about habits is you can change them. While it takes work and time it could lead you to live your best life. Everything we do now will set our path to mediocrity or greatness is up to us which we take.
Comparing
I wish this was taught at a far younger age. We should never compare ourselves or our lives to anyone else’s, especially to people on social media. I say this often, SOCIAL MEDIA IS SUCH A LIE! People will never put their dirt on there, they all want to look as though everything is perfect. That’s why we all follow them, their lifestyles enchant us. While you can use this for inspiration, let’s be real we just put ourselves down because of it. Ugh, she has the body I want, the house I only dream of living in, the vacations I will never take, blah, blah, blah… It’s just negativity towards you and the things you have worked so hard to have right now. Instead of learning to love yourself and having gratitude for the things you have, you just beat yourself up. STOP IT! Comparing will never get you any of those things they have or make you who they are. Also, you shouldn’t want to be them. You should want to be you. No other person will be on the same journey. Enjoy yours and don’t let what you see on social media steal your joy from you.
Putting Yourself Down
This goes with the topic about comparison. When you’re playing the comparing game, there is only one place you lead yourself, and that’s to self-destruction. They say, “you are your own worst critic,” but what if you get out of your own way and allow positivity to flow through you. The way you see yourself will reflect in the people you surround yourself with, how you allow others to treat you, and what you accept in your life. Remember, you only accept the things you feel you deserve. If you keep putting yourself down, you’re not allowing positive things into your life. Enjoy where you are in your journey and love who you are all while creating the life you dream of and growing through it all.
Not Doing What You Love
This is big! You are still so young, there is no reason to settle for ordinary. Dream big, reach as high as you can and don’t be afraid to do it. The only thing that prevents us from pursuing things in life is fear. But guess what, you are still SO YOUNG! If during the pursuit of your dream life you stumble, you have so much time to pick yourself back up and continue going.
You know that life you were envying or comparing your life to? Well, make it yours! Put in the work and just do it. There are so many people who have intense passions in life but are settling for a normal 9-5 because it is safe. Do you want to be safe or do you want to live the life you have always dreamed of?
Everyone wants to live a certain lifestyle but either are too afraid to reach for it or just don’t want to put in the time and effort to have it. Y’all it is reachable! You can have it if you want it bad enough.
Now, maybe you are already pursuing your dream career and love the job you have. Maybe you are already living in your dream home or have your dream car. Some people have hobbies they have always wanted to try. Some people have places they have always wanted to see. Whatever it is. Make time for it and make it happen consistently. Do you want to take on baking? Bake something every week. Do you want to take on strength training? Go to the gym 4-5 times a week. Do you want to go on more vacations? Go yearly and save up for it through the year. Anything is attainable!
Eating Out For All Meals
I’m not going to sit here and pretend I don’t enjoy not having to cook or eating from one of my favorite restaurants, BUT there is still nothing better than a home-cooked meal. First off, it saves you money. Second, you will have much more control over what goes into your food. It is easier to eat healthy when you are cooking it yourself.
Not taking care of your skin
It is so important, even in your 20s, to prioritize skincare. If you don’t take care of it now, you will regret it in the future. It is much more work and much more costly to reverse damage to your skin than it is to prevent. It really isn’t even hard. This means:
- Wash your face every day
- Never sleep with your makeup on
- ALWAYS wear sunscreen
- Moisturize
- It’s time for eye cream
- Stop picking at your pimples
- Drink lots of water
- Get enough sleep
Everyone’s skin is different so find the products you love and what works what’s best for your skin. It’s ok to try different things until you find the products your skin loves. And trust me, 40/50-year-old you will thank you for it.
Being A Yes Girl
It is OK to say NO! Let me repeat that… IT IS OK TO SAY NO! I know it can be tough sometimes, but you can’t please everyone. And no, it is not selfish. If you truly don’t have the time for it, money for it, or if you just don’t want to do it, then don’t or it becomes a standard. Once it is a standard, you will have a tougher time saying no. Only say yes to the things you want to do and the things that truly bring you joy.
Stop Spending Money Frivolously
Now is the time to save. I know it is much more boring than, “I only have one life to live” so buy those clothes, take as many vacations, etc., it’s practical. While it is ok to buy yourself things, treat yourself, or go on vacation, leaving yourself with nothing in your bank account should stop.
You never know what life will throw at you, so having financial cushion will ensure you will have some security later. I know it is hard to save in your 20s and most want to just live for the moment. Even putting a little away at a month will make a difference.
Keeping Toxic People In Your Life
Toxic people only bring chaos and negativity. These kinds of people, even if they have been your friend since childhood, will drag you down and bring you pain or make you feel small. The people you want to be around are those that lift you up and motivate you to pursue your greatest life. You want people who will nourish your soul. These people are the ones that will believe in you, cushion your falls, and applaud you in every victory.
Flaking On Plans
Like I said above, don’t be a yes girl. If you don’t want to go, then don’t say you will. Flaking on plans is much worse than just saying no upfront. You will look unreliable, and that is a way to lose good friendships. Also, if you respect other people’s time you won’t let them plan around you. If you have a valid reason to not go, at least try not doing it a couple of hours before.
Feeling Guilty
I hear “sorry” way too often. I know you’ve sent the “Sorry for the late reply” text before. There is no reason to apologize for responding later, the whole point of texting is to respond when you can. Why are you feeling guilty for being busy? For being tired? For not wanting to go out on the weekend to save money? You don’t need to justify why you do things or don’t do things. Cut back on throwing the word sorry around and not feel bad when you do whatever is best for you.
Running Late
Ok, this is a tough one, but if you can accomplish it, you will live a much more stress-free life. I know it happens; I get it, and I have been late before, but if you are doing it constantly, it is definitely time to change that.
Time is so valuable and once it is wasted, there is no getting it back. Being late is so disrespectful, and it shows a disregard for other people. This one will take time, but it can be resolved. You know how much time you need to get to where you need to be and how long you take to get ready. You can time things appropriately.
Living Life In Your Phone
This! It seems like no matter where you go, everyone’s noses are buried in a screen. If you’re alone, and that’s what you do, it’s all good, but when you’re around other people, you should be giving them the attention they deserve. To me there is nothing more annoying than having a conversation with someone and they pick up their phone. It shows a lack of interest and just downright rude.
Always being on your phone also makes you miss out on time with those you love and on experiences. I get it; you want capture moments, but taking a picture then spending time on editing it, creating the perfect caption, adding hashtags, posting it, and scrolling through your feed is just excessive. When you put your phone down, you will realize how much life and joy you are missing out on.
Complaining About Getting Older
You aren’t getting any younger, and complaining about it will not take back years. Enjoy where you are in life. Don’t be mortified, instead celebrate it.
30 IS the END of your YOUTH and it is not a bad thing. From here on, it only gets better. This is when you have gone through all the bullshit of our 20s, and now you’re upgrading to your flirty 30s. You’re experienced enough to avoid the bullshit and young enough to still enjoy your life and do whatever it is you want to.
Are you close to your 30s? How are you feeling about it? Do you think you’ve kicked these habits already? Do you think there should be more added to the list?
Mella Wines 